orgasms around the world

turns out putting everyone's favorite "exceptions" to their relationship on screen makes for a movie that beat the shit out of even luke fucking skywalker and hans solo for an opening weekend.

i mean, the long time johhny depp fans who'd follow him to any cinematic foray including such pussy-whipped film titles as "the man who cried" (alright, i only went to the London premier, its not like it was a big deal or anything), combined with the tiffany locket-wearing girls who love a girly man who competes with mirror time, alongside men whose idea of beauty is a woman whose body mirrors that of a 10 year old boy (no hate, i would too like to have a body of a 10 year old boy if I had the fucking chance) = more money than most third world nations have seen in a century.

seriously, forget the fucking storyline...forget the camera angles...forget the costumes and elaborate sets, this movie is making this much money for one reason: the force of having a million people's private fantasties put together in one movie. that's it. i mean, if this isn't one movie begging for "if they made it," i don't know what the fuck is.

and to think, it's all based on ugly, crusty robots that sing "yo ho ho, a pirate's life for me" because all non-pc undertones have been scrubbed and removed by the family-fucking-oriented folks at disneyland. oh, wait, so now the chick has a pie and that's why their chasing her...oh that's much better than them chasing her because their fucking pirates. i mean, its enough to make a person get outraged, or just think about throwing a big black dildo at one of the dudes on the island, i mean, not like i've thought about that or anything...um...

anyways, point being: i'm fairly certain that the movie's success has little to do with p.c. ball-less, drunk, singing anamatornic robots at Disneyland and everything to do with the fact that boys and girls can agree to go to a movie where everyone gets a nice glimpse of their favorite go-to celebrity that they use in crunch time.

so go forth and add to the multiple orgasm that is pirates of the carribean, i mean, fuck it, who cares about the plot anyway right?

or maybe i'm wrong, check out what ninjas are sayin': http://askaninja.com/ (check out the review of pirates of the carribean)

and why in the name of fuck is the pirate in disneyland hanging with some pigs? what, no sheep available? just sayin', i mean, if i was drunk, i'd be looking for something more than some hey and some pigs to laugh at my terrible jokes. i mean, what the fuck is going on in that picture? wierd...