hey baby, need a ride?

the events that you are about to hear are both true and frightening:

couple of weeks ago, i was walking out of urban outfitters on melrose when some old dude, clear on the other side of the street, yelled: "hey BABY! need a ride SUGAR?!!"

today, as I was walking to the grove, some random guy (on the way to his car) planted himself in front of me, motioned for me to take my headphones out of my ears and asked me: "so, um, you need a ride or something?" to which i could only muster a "you must be joking" before putting my headphones back in and walking off quickly as possible.

so, here's my question: when did it become a good pick up line, in the unsafe world that we live in, to ask random women if they need rides? i mean, surely nothing says "i'm a huge perv and although aware of the constant warnings to women to stay the fuck away from strangers who invite them into their cars, i'd like to install that image into your mind right about...now...because i'd like you to definitely know once again...that i'm a perv." i mean, come the fuck on. to add insult to injury, this guy wasn't even fucking driving! yea, it wasn't even his car.

to say that its just one asshole without a clue would be ignoring the fact that i've been asaulted with this pick up line in just the last month: once when i was walking to my car and once when i was obviously almost at my destination (as the ride was offered in the parking lot of the grove as i was heading in). is this a new trend? are there women out there accepting these rides? is tom fucking lickus up to something new? I mean, i'm not saying you should take tips from this guy: http://attraction-chronicles.blogspot.com/2005_09_26_attraction-chronicles_archive.html
(that is, unless you like that terrible facial hair, pucca shell necklace (we've discussed), fucking terrible guy outfit look, then yea...go ahead and listen to the greasy bastard)
or anything, but christ all mighty, "hey baby, need a ride?" is just beyond anything remotely tasteful and what's worse--anything that might lead to success of any sort.

all i'm saying is, don't pick up on someone by being pervy. be organic, be spontaneous, be anything but the sad fucks that i'm referring to above. seriously, i'd almost prefer, "what's your name, what's your number? where's the party tonight?" over "need a ride?" unless at the precise moment you happen to be offering that so-called ride you are a) my friend; b) a taxi driver; or d) (in moments of possible despiration) an mta driver. point is fellas, no more offering rides to ladies you don't know, ok? it just ain't kosher.