hey baby need a ride? (part deux)

The other day at the criminal justice building (ok, i kinda just like typing that) i came back from lunch and fell prey to this situation:

every time you enter the building you have to go through security. the metal detectors are exteremely sensitive and as such go off almost every single time you walk through. As a consequence, everyone who sets off the detector has to stand still and be subject to the "wanding ways" of the hand-held metal detector beepy thing. So, the other day, the machine beeped as i went through and as such was subject to a search by a security guard who was about half my height and unabashedly sporting a "pimpstache" that really was so terrible, it should have its own porn theme music. but i digress. As i was standing there, this scene unfolded:

pimpstache: so *beep* is it hot *beep* out there? *beep*

me: uh, yea, its kinda *beep* hot. i mean, we just walked *beep* to lunch, so we're kinda all warm right now from *beep* that.

pimpstache: or *beep* is it just *beep* you?
(pimpstache then begins to smile as if he has crafted the most original pick up line in the history of the world).

me: (mouth drops to floor in sheer horror. quickly assess the situation...two options: 1) tell him to fuck off in usual offended manner, or 2) consider that this is a man that i have to see everyday, who carries a gun, and at least has the guts to wear a pimpstache, so who knows what he's capable of, and quietly thank him and walk away quickly. )

me: oh, um, aren't you nice. (walks away quickly in manner of someone who is desperate for a bathroom).

gahhhh!!! what in the hell makes that ok? i mean, i'm at work, not next to a construction site. this is the criminal justice building, not the electric pussycat. jesus christ. this pick up thing is getting worse people. anybody else have this problem??